Blended

 

I watched my life come full circle, when our due date was almost exactly a year from the date of the loss of our daughter Frances. 

Seeing the storm end with new life is a beautiful reminder of just how precious children are.

I gained an amazing appreciation of the delicacy of both pregnancy and life itself. 

One year after experiencing our loss there I was holding the most precious gift of all, our fearfully and wonderfully made rainbow baby.

We named her Fearne Frances June Dodd. 

Of course, habitually, we called her Frances for the first month - which stung a bit. 

And as predicted the arrival of Fearne triggered thoughts of Frances.

It was only fair that we honoured the name we loved, that we had spoken of so fondly and then so painfully for the previous years. 

Thrown in amongst all those raging hormones for good measure. 

Damn those hormones…. I’d be lying if they weren’t there in the background, Submissively waiting. 

Throughout the pregnancy, I had my concerns. I was at war with myself.

I worried non stop and doubted my ability of becoming a mother.

Is my baby developing ok? 

Am I going to be a good mother? 

Will I set a good example? 

This time….. will it be for real? 

(Perhaps, just perhaps I’ll

get to take her home to our family this time) 🙏🏼

I worried that my love for my daughter would outweigh the love I have for my step son. 

The boy I didn’t bring into this world but love deeply and unconditionally. 

I needn’t worry at all. 

I watch him with her, and my love for him grows stronger. 

He is without a doubt an amazing big brother. 

I didn’t expect to fall in love with my partners child overnight, but I pretty much did. 

He’s helped make me into the woman I am today. 

There’s a saying- 

I may not have given him the gift of life, 

But life surely gave me the gift of him.

He was a ‘welcomed’ distraction last year when we grieved the loss of his sister.

Understandably, becoming a step parent isn’t easy for all.

Circumstances can be a little more complicated.

I feel the need to share my positive experience of step parenting to add to lack of encouraging advice you may seek. 

While there's no easy formula for creating the "perfect family’ -  it’s important for me to be involved in my step sons life.

I can tell you …100% … It’s seriously rewarding!! 

We have our beautiful blended family. 

These last years have taught me Imperfections are part of daily life for us all. 

That me and my family are brave.

Far from perfect, but perfect to me! 

I realise how incredibly lucky we are to be blessed with our daughter and our son, who will grow up to make their sister proud. 

I’m excited, super excited....for what the future holds for us as a family of four!

Laid bare - Mum of Fearne Frances,  

                - Step Mum to Taylor Thomas,

                - Soulmate to Tom.